return my video game
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
