is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
