There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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