I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
