Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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