i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
