Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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