I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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