sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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