there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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