My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
