Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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