Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I forget how to act sober
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
