...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
