Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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