Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
