I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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