I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
