the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
