Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
