Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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