Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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