I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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