Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
