I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
