The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize