I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
