from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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