Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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