if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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