Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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