Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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