you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I will pee on everything he values.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
