I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
