is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
