Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just found a bag of teeth...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
