I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
