I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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