Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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