I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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