just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
