my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
