he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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