this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Who died my cat blue again?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
