If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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