i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
