No awkward lesbian experiences without me
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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