I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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