office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
