apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
