i jhust puked up my retainher.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
