I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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