Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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