she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
