yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
