i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
