Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
