DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
