that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
