if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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